i really like calculus.

i'm a calcaholic.

i said that in class the other day. no one but me laughed. then i weezed, just so that there wouldn't be any silence.

then, i swear to god, ten minutes later, someone else said that they were calcaholic. grrr...

and you can't be like, "hey! I said that!" cause that's petty.

haha i'm above that. but not above ass grabbing and tormenting bobby.

bobby. the "hunk". chem class was fun. i wonder if he took it offensively, since we called him hot and always hit on him. he's not That ugly. he's a nice guy, that bobby.

some funny tidbits.

on the subject of ass grabbage

Sesame says:
bobby? the hunk?
Emma says:
yea that's him. hunkier than ever this year'
Sesame says:
lol
Sesame says:
great. now i have something to look forward to
Emma says:
no kidding. you'll be surprised
Sesame says:
just like bryan cole, eh?
Sesame says:
wait. i guess your graceful ass grabbage was your way of claiming him though'
Sesame says:
so hands off for me.
Sesame says:
lol
Emma says:
yeah you better stay away.
Emma says:
it was a hardass grab. i think he thinks i'm a perv
Sesame says:
hahahahha
Sesame says:
it can't be as bad as..
Emma says:
it was harcore.
Sesame says:
do you remember in i think..grade 10
Emma says:
what happened?!
Sesame says:
when we were walking behind mike chandler and some pple. and i dared jo to grab his ass. but she double dared me, so when i was about to do it, i hesitated
Sesame says:
and she grabbed my hand and forced me to grab it.
Sesame says:
but she like...went too hard and shoved my thumb right up there.
Sesame says:
and mike yelped, stared at us, then ran away
Emma says:
EEWW
Emma says:
aw no i never knew about this!!
Sesame says:
lol, i swear, you were there!
Emma says:
i bet he liked it.. or somethign because he wrote anal jelly all over my sng sheet.
Emma says:
eng/8
Sesame says:
hahahahhahaha

and some critique from faithful fans

:: Shannon :: says:
ew omg my eye is sore too GROSS!!!!!!!!
Sesame says:
HAHAHAHAHHA
Sesame says:
yeah, i know!
Sesame says:
that's stress for ya!
Sesame says:
jk
Sesame says:
no, that's just poor hygene

hahaha ah yes.
well...this was a pointless blog, since emma and shannon basically make up 50% of my blogging audience. another 25% being me and my conceited self (visiting my own blog. "just to see what it looks like!" hehehe), and the remainder being you.

HOT DAMN!

ahhhhhh i'm so ... relieved. in the strangest way.

don't be gross.

i was going down to the basement to do some homework when i remembered that there was a stereo down there! it wasn't there until just yesterday. so i ran upstairs, and as i was taking my better than ezra cd out of the discwasher, my hands were seriously, shaking. drug withdrawl? no, i just really really miss my music. try going without yours for over a month.

ahhh...yes. my aunt stopped me though, she said "what's going on?!" ( i guess i was really loud or something )
"i just realized i can go play a cd downstairs!"
"what? it's broken!"
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo---"
"wait..."
"--ooooooooooooooooooo--"
"why don't you go see? i think it's broken..."
*as i go down the stairs and put the cd into the stereo: "--oooooooooooooooooo----"
i push play...and i see the display light up...
and it starts playing those three notes from misunderstood.
"--oooooooooooooooaaaaaaaah HAH"
"well...there you go."

i think my mom told my aunt how i was sorta crapped out and a little bored without my music. lonely, i guess.
so my aunt one day, told me to follow me into my cousin's old rooms (i'm staying in David's). she started pulling out LOADS and LOADS of cds. it was insane, their collections. and these are only the ones that they left behind. i saw a bunch in david's closet too. they're all obscure bands, the ones they'd keep in touch with, and who would only play gigs at intimate clubs. it's kind of cool. i haven't looked through all of them, but hopefully i'll find something good.

it's all from their early 90s grunge stage. so maybe...if i'm lucky...

wow. i thought i heard the dj say "new nirvana song" but i didn't know he was serious. hmm! i do believe i'll give it a listen or two.

more about music...

when kristine was driving me to the university fair, she asked me what music i listen too. a common question, in small talk, surprisingly. (boo. i'm such a wannabe highbrow-er. first i'll need a noun for highbrow. speaking of! my calc teacher, mike, has a WHBM ("whabam!") stands for "weekly high brow moment". once a week, someone is chosen to do something high brow. mike read from "the prophet" -author i don't remember, and lisa read a poetic journal entry from when she went to italy. B(harat) read a few quotes he came up with. alex is this week. wonder what he'll do. anyways. yes. not to be confused with the WTYCSF ("wajaklebahjebahfaras") Weekly Test You Cannot Study For. fun stuff. wow...off topic...) and so (if you can remember what the fuck i was talking about way back in the beginning of this paragraph) kristine asks what i like to listen to. for some reason, i get embarassed. i dont' want to tell her "better than ezra" or "collective soul". why? i don't know! it's not embarassing. no one ever knows who they are. but it's such a lame question to answer. i (everyone too, i bet) listens to a little of everything. when you listen to something, you don't think to yourself, "i'm only going to like this if it's punk". that's lame. losers like unnamable do that. but then again, it's all small talk...this is my millionth "problem that isn't really a problem" rant. but i'm sure this has the same weight as starving countries. (ha .. haa ... wheeze.)

i'm hearing a lot of complaints about the Bio class back home.

funny, i thought mr.lattner was a good teacher.

wait a minute..there was that time i didn't understand hydro...something solutions and hypo..something...

he didn't make it so easy back then..
but he cares. so that's good.

dinner time.

reminicing with vic about beatles. as if we were alive when they were popular. HAH.

i miss singing their songs with her.

boo hoo.

grossness! wanna know why my eye was sore? quote, "like someone punched it"?? it's cause it was infected, and there was a sort of...lump in it. right on the bottom rim. so basically, there was a zit in my eye!!!! AAAGH. wait, it gets better. my mom got some eyedrops for me, and after putting them in just once, the friggin' thing broke! it popped! the zit that was in my eye, BURST. PUS GATHERING ON MY EYE LASHES, THEN SLIPPING INTO MY EYE

ayayayaaa! so disgusting! at least it's gone now though. it was really weird cause if i pulled down the lower rim just a bit, i could see this sort of white vein. it was the pore, the pus filled pore. now it's gone. but still. it was the sickest thing.

i have a really wrinkly forehead. it's a little worrying but who gives a shit?

i was thinking a bit about what the guy said about julia's blog. it makes me a bit angry. what the fuck is he expecting? we're fucking 16/17. sure, our minds aren't torn with the crisis in mideast, or gathering pollution and acid clouds, (at least...with exceptions. see my sporatic rants of my ignorant and naive views on political problems) but don't make fucking assumptions!

ag. i hate when people make assumptions...among other things.

i love driving. for some reason, everytime i do, i feel like...nothing will happen. surreal. you know. i probably used that wrong. ah well. so yeah, i'll be driving really fast, and i'll see someone crossing the street, but for some reason, it doesn't compute. or i'll try to stop way too hard, or i'll almost sideswipe a car, and i won't care. i think it's in part that my driving instructor is always so calm. or at least his voice is. he says the funniest things in a creepishly calm voice. "alright, you'll want to come down a few 20 km's......no, you should try to make a full stop at stop signs.....make sure you see the pedestrian...look out for the pedestrian...watch out for the pedestrian!"

calm stuff..

homework has been light. makes me nervous.

i feel dizzy all the time. ever since last friday when i stared at a giant spinning spiral we found in the science centre. you were supposed to stare at it as it spun, then quickly look at someone's face, and their head is supposed to look like it's getting bigger. it never works for me. i just end up chronically dizzy.

i've been making plans in my head. big plans! for when (and i say when! not if!) fellows come down to visit me! fellows....i mean friends. that made me sound trampy. anyways, yeah. i can see it...and it looks expensive.

i got my TTC student card from Jessica today. in it, i'm wearing my St.Paul's Falcon's shirt. one of my fav shirts. it has a gross peach (or pee, whatever you like) coloured stain on the front. but i can never see it when i glance, so i still wear it everywhere. but sometimes other people see it really easily. maybe i'm colour blind. to pee. it's not pee, by the way. i'm not gross like that. i'm gross other ways. ha. ha. ha. not funny.

anyways, my point was that it's funny how i'm wearing st.paul's shirt cause the card says that i'm from senator o'connor (aka...oscss if you're from a catholic board. long and boring story.) represent! wait...i think i mentioned this before. oh well.
and plus i got my YMCA membership card yesterday, and i was wearing the st.paul's shirt again. i'm gonna try to wear that shirt every time i get a photo id pic taken. it'll be funny. and very very sad.

my hair is thinning like the dickens. i hate it! i hate it! arg. die! wait...don't die! stay with mee! i'm ever so lonely....aaaa(falls down a hole)
that it reminded me of when sharon and i would sit together on the UN trip. whenever she would start listening to her music, she'd tell me, "well i'm off to musicland! ... ew, i'm gay".
it was hilarious.
once, we both decided to listen to our music, so she said, "i'm off to music land now."
me: "i'll see ya there! naaaaaah! *fades away"
"what the fuck was that?!"
"the naah? me ... going to music land."
we laugh at our incredible pathetic humour.
me, five minutes later. "heh heh heh."
"what's so funny?"
"instead of 'see ya there!' we should have said 'Hear Ya There!'"
oh god. i kill myself. i'm so lame. i love it.

i promise never to try to explain an inside joke again. i'm sorry.

what the- where did my blogs about the robert redford movie go??

...freaky

i'm still laughing at my last part of the last blog.

...sigh....i can entertain myself even if i'm in the dark in an empty room. ..wait a minute...let me rephrase that. lol, that used to be an inside joke with me and pat. i love inside jokes. they're impossible to hate if you know what the joke is.

yet so despisable if you don't. argl.

"you tired?"
"oh yeah, very."
"been partying, eh?"
"oh yes! all night parties.....alone....... in my room....... with the lights turned off. .... ahem. why am i still talking?"
".........oh steph. i don't want to know."
*actual conversation between myself and mrs.son. see if you can guess who said what. if you can't figure it out, you're dangerously stupid.

coo. emma has a blog. yay! visitors, maybe....for birthday? *holds breath*

reading it reminded me of this:

my mom made some interesting comments yesterday, as she drove me home from dinner. university comments. i think it all started when we picked andrew up from Innis, and we were talking about his residence. he said that they're building new ones all over the place, and my mom said to me: hey! then they'll be ready for when you come!
andrew says: that's if she comes here....right?
everyone laughed cause my mom always denies trying to make us go to UofT.
anyways, later at dinner, andrew was complaining how he loves his program, but there's a couple cutthroat kids in his class who are total assholes, and are super super smart. he was a little upset. so i've heard this a lot, and from a lot of people, and so i declared how i had decided not to go to UofT for undergrad. i pretty much said i wouldn't even apply there. my mom didn't say anything. in fact, she nodded!
then, (i had gone to the university fair that day) i was asking a lot about Guelph. everyone's opinions of Guelph are sort of....lower, but everyone who goes there loves it. so then i figure the universities i'll look into are McGill, Ottawa (...maybe), and McMaster. maybe guelph, if i have nothing to do. so there it is.....
and then..my mom says, "are you sure you want to do science? Didn't you really like English?"
it's so insane that she'd suggest me doing an Arts program. just because my whole family (even extended) is in the Sciences, and for some lame reasons, they always talk about Arts in a condenscending way. But i was a little more surprised that she'd see anything in my English. i mean...well, i remember when Chris got an 89 in senior english, and my mom would always brag about it. and he was always more of an english artsy fartsy than a science guy. (he's trying for med school now) but i didn't think that she thought anything big of my english and stuff. maybe it was because i kept talking to chris about doing english in university, and how i sort of wondered what it'd be like to be a lawyer...
apparantly, english is totally different in university. so craps to that. but then again, i'm not gonna take chris' word for it. i love literature though.....alright, enough tooting my own horn... (hahaha tooting....aw i'm lame)
anyways, ever since mark has started teacher's college (apparantly the most useless thing you can spend over $5000 on) i've been wondering if i could ever be a teacher. it's weird. maybe i'll be that if being a doctor doesn't work out. which is likely. but i think i'd like that, because it seems like being a teacher might be a whole lot more interesting than being a doctor....who knows.

mark said that there's a huge need for female senior math teachers. and minorities everywhere. and that alone made me want to become a math teacher. lame, huh? andrew laughed at this, because i call him at least 5 times a night to ask about calculus, but really, i sort of like math and physics more than bio or chem.

aaanyways....yes. so this all goes to show my amazing ability to change my mind and for the dumbest reasons.

didn't i want to be a farmer last month?

and when andrew said there's hardly any girl engineer students, i was desperate to become an engineer.

something about non-conformity...being significant...fad of antifad...well, maybe not that last one. being a farmer isn't really an fad..nor antifad for that matter.

that's freaky about some guy commenting on julia's blog. how do people who don't know her find these things? and why would they care enough to blog about her blog? blog blog blog blog blog.
julia needs a lesson in how to read subtle messages. sometimes she'll notice stuff in my blog and then talk about it as if it wasnt' meant to be there. it makes me feel....something.

yeee-es. so anyways, i've been acting like how i act at home, at science school. does that make sense? the other day, i found a green apple in the student's fridge. i vaguely remembered putting an apple in there a long time before. i yelled "is this anyones?" the people who looked at me looked at me with blank faces. so i waited 3 seconds and said "well it's mine now! NAhahaha" and i licked it. EVERYone's faces went from horror, to laughter. it was all simultaneous. that was the start. then on friday i was trying to mime "my fly is open!" to a girl on the other side of the class. picture it. now try to think of a reason why i'd do that. no, i can't think of why either. then there's me always laughing hard in calc class, then breathing back my air so that it sounds like i'm on a machine. for the same reason why i mime "my fly is open". pretty soon i'll be farting and eating food while on the toilet. not that i do that now. or do i? no, seriously, i don't. i've never farted in my life. i'm 90% air. or gas, if you want to get technical.

anyways. this suddenly turned into a really warped blog.
i'd better end it now before i confess my tendency to eat food while on the toilet. wait a minute....dammit!

ugh. the more i think about oliver leaving, the more pissed off i get. i'm so mad that he wasted a spot that someone else could have taken. and the other guy probably could have made really good use of the opportunities we're getting. i know if i didnt' get in, it would kill me to know that someone dropped out, and i might have had the chance to get in.

Fiesta Friday went well. it was basically just a potluck lunch. i supplied the pop. pepsi blue is pretty gross. don't try it. kristine mentioned a hick party one of her friends is holding. she said something about her friend owning a school bus, and how at his parties, they hot box the bus, and people just sit there. it sounded hilarious, but then kristine was all like "not that i do that...you know, i don't go on the bus.." sure thing...

it was funny cause we were talking about how people ask us about the hotness of guys at our school, and she said that there was this one guy i was supposed to meet at the University Fair (useless. don't bother going, unless you want free stuff, like glowing pens and Waterloo magnets) who was really desperate to meet her new (girl) friends. hahaha what a chump.

guessing from the blogs (well..julia's and laurie's..) the dance was a crapbag. oh well...they usually are, unless there's someone you like, or someone to hit on. same with parties. but i know i've told this to julia before, and i've probably written about it somewhere in this thing so ... you know.

my eye is sore. like someone punched it.

jeff is my partner for the Bio Field Study. we have to come up with a game involving symbiotic relationships, and a classification key. for what, i have no idea. jeff knows though...supposedly. we bonded because for the first week of bio, we were both scared shitless by all the stuff everyone else seemed to know. i have a way with bonding with my fellow dumbasses. just kidding. i'm so much happier about calc nowadays. mike said that "it seems you're coming along now. you get everything better?" it made my day. i've got such a teacher's pet inside of me. i suppose everyone does...in some capacity. (hehehe i said "in some capacity" in a real sentence...ya). Kristine mentioned how Jen seems like a big teacher's pet. sometimes she'll start laughing in class, but not make any noise. she just has this big face that looks all contorted, and her face gets red, and she'll shake. if you didnt' know she was laughing, you'd think she was crying. no one will know why she's laughing, then she'll yell out "fishes!! hahaha" or something like that. some inside joke with Alex, her crush. (supposed crush...). so she's from an all girl's private school, and learned the factor theorem in grade 9. while i learned it last week. yay seperate school board system! anyways, yeah. so she's sort of a teacher's pet. getting mike's water bottle for him, chatting with him on the way to class...but meh. mike's a big Ultimate Frisbee player, so every thursday he gets a game going after school. i haven't had time to go play yet, but apparently, jen's the only girl who ever goes. plus she's got the highest mark in calc, so i can see how she and mike would have a bond. it used to bother me, but i don't care much anymore, cause mike got pissed off at her a couple times.
*cue josh: good times...*

i like talking about fakes with the osc pple. it's aggrivating, but comforting.

whoa!
this morning, when i woke up, i was thinking about this movie, "The Candidate" with Robert Redford. anyone who had Civics with Mr....dammit..what's his name....Rashotte would have seen this one.
anyways, now it's on tv! and what's weirder, is it's at the exact same scene that i was thinking about. the one with the forest fire.

i forget how the movie ended. but i remember it making an ass out of Redford's character.

i think i liked it....should i watch it? or do calculus...hmm...

well, it's true. oliver's left OSCSS.

it's weird...he didn't fit in at all, but then again, we're all really different. now there's only 27 of us. 28 was such a perfect number. everyone had a partner for scisoc stuff.

it definately wasn't cause he was finding it too hard, because he is a physics genius.

and it wasn't him not getting along with anyone, because he was nice to everyone, and everyone was nice to him. he just wasn't outgoing, is all.

kristine called him one night to tell him something about physics, and his mom said that he was at his dad's for a while. so she called him at his dad's place, and his dad said he was at his mom's. when kristine told him that she just called his mom's and he wasn't there, the dad said, "oh...well i don't know where he is then. but i'm sure he's around someplace". i feel bad for him. he could go really far, too.

so all the administration told us was that it was that something happened outside of OSCSS, and he decided it'd be best to go back to his home school. everyone's full of a mix of concern...and mostly curiosity. we only knew him for about 3 weeks, but it's still a little sad that one of us had to go. there's so few of us already, and most of us are getting close. plus because he got in, that means that someone else didn't get the chance to. which really really sucks...i wish they could bring a new guy (or girl) in.

jeff drove me home yesterday, and jessica drove me home today. i love getting rides! i hate riding the Don Mills bus. tomorrow Kristine, Laura and I are going to the university fair together. Most of OSCSS is going tomorrow, together, but for some reason, Kristine wanted to go with only a few people. Plus she's the one driving, so she's the boss (hah). it'll be weird, we might see everyone else there, though. oh well.

bio test 2morrow.
calc going well. more people are asking questions when confused, so that's comforting and makes it less intimidating. plus sometimes i even know the answers. it's nice. i wish i didn't take so long with the homework though.

i don't think i'm going to sign up for the Swim Team. bad move...maybe. it'll suck going back to Trenton and having to work my ass off. plus that'll probably make me not go to practices again. dammit. maybe i can handle 2 practices a week...i dunno...shit. i have to decide soon. it's already started.

talked to emma too. it was fun!
tomorrow is "Fiesta Friday". i have to bring in drinks.
Today we got "trained" on Challenger. it's this space station program that school groups can come in and do. it's sooo fun. you get split into two groups, mission control, and Eagle 1. then you send eagle 1 to the moon. there was an "airlock", which was a closet sized room, where you turned the walls, and you walked out into the science centre. we kept playing with it, and accidentally got some visitor's attention, and they came inside. it was scary, but hilarious.

mom's coming up tomorrow. i dunno why, but i get really bitchy when she calls. i have no idea what for. but i know it's cause of her, even though she did nothing. yesterday i was being bitchy, and then she said, okay, i guess you're busy so i'll go...bye...
and i freaked out. i was all like "waiit!! don't go! i have something to say..." and i was about to say "aw i love you!" but i weirdly enough, i couldn't get it out. i couldn't even say "i miss you". so i was just like , " when i think of home...i get sad". how lame is that? but she understood, and suddenly i started crying, even though i had just had a great day. i didn't realize i was still homesick. i think i just miss her a lot, and i don't like spending time away from her, when i only less than a year left living with her. i still can't comprehend that. i feel like i'm gonna live with her for the rest of my life. it sucks. if i decided to stay behind an extra year, the main reason would be just so i could hang around with my mom more. that sounds pathetic, but frankly, i don't give two shits. my mom's the best.

i was telling my mom about my feeling crappy last week. i mentioned the whole not belonging anywhere thing. then...and i dunno if i should say this or not. but not only DID (note: past tense) feel like i didn't belong at my aunt's house, nor at school, nor with the other classmates, but i also didn't feel like i belonged with my old friends. because they have their own lives, and i dont' know what's going on there, and they don't know what's going on here, and if i told them, it just wouldn't be interesting, cause they don't know the pple, and sort of vice versa....
especially cause we never got together outside of school, so we only hung out during lunch hours. but it sounds like everyone is being less clique-y this year. which is grreat.

talking to carson. our friendship is one of those friendships where you dont' know if you're friends or aquaintances or what. we'll talk on messenger, but at school, we wouldn't say hi to each other. but then again, i don't really look at anyone when i walk the hallways. it's a weird habit i've formed.

i can't wait to get my labcoat!!! gary said that we should wear our labcoats to dinner. lol. what a foo

alex (the girl) knows of a karaoke bar we can go to. maybe we'll wear the labcoats there. or maybe not, if we dont' want to get beaten up. so far, i've seen 2 guys dance (really well!) to britney spears songs. it's a little.....well.....nevermind.

wow. "tent city is an ugly site, that is not Toronto" - Mel Lastman. i dont' know where to start on that one.

i sorta wanna talk to emma, cause i wanna ask her something...

today was fucking hilarious. the funniest, stupidest things kept happening, and everyone was laughing all the time. it was great. everyone's pretty much acting like themselves now.

turns out B is like....well, he's lived in India all his life, and he only moved here 4 years ago. it's pretty amazing, his english is really good (considering) and his family moved here solely for the better education. he was telling me about his past life (haha past life) and it sounded great. as in "the company" paid for everything. car. gas. health care. all they had to provide for themselves was food, and clothes. a little scary though...to think that everything you have is depending on your job, and your position. anyways, yeah. he's pretty fob-y. he was surprised that they hung glasses upside down at the bars, he didnt' know what "rare" as in rare meat was, and he had never seen a greek salad before. but he's amazingly smart, and he's gonna go to high places. he told me this, as well. he wants to make sure he doesn't end up "just living, then dying. you know...insignificant." i felt like i should be offended, but then i realized that really...everyone thinks that of themselves. no one accepts that they're going to live a meaningless life. which is amazing and that's the way it should be.

anyhoo, Krystian (a guy!) is sooo fucking funny! he reminds me a lot of Adam Sioui...but why, i do not know. maybe cause he's tall. haha. hmm. so yes. lunch was amazing since we have this exercise bike that everyone...abuses. it's one of the old-skool ones, no electricity needed. no one rides it normally anymore. today we were all acting incredibly stupid, and we were riding it upside down, on chairs, E.T. style with it tipped back and no seat (super funny when krystan did it. he's really gangly, so his limbs were sticking out every which way), with it balancing on security poles...with 4 people on at once, using it like a ramp...it's incredibly dangerous but really really fun.

B has extremely long eyelashes. so long, that they touch his glasses, and curl, because there isn't enough room for 'em. plus he has his "mom's hands". and when he was showing them to us, he was sort of....well think of when they use models to sell rings on the shopping network. it was fucking hilarious.

then tonight, everyone went out to The Friendly Greek for dinner, with the teachers. lots of pple ordered lamb, but they kept baa-ing everytime i took a bite. then since they couldnt' think of a sound that rice would make, they kept saying "riiiice" as if a lamb was saying it.

you know how a guy will sometimes yawn, then subtly put his arm around his date? i don't know how it got started, but everyone ended up doing that to each other. it was friggin' stupid, but the dumber things were, the more we laughed. then krystan did it to mike, the calc teacher, while talking about calculus, and our whole table was laughing, but they didn't know why. i think only the teachers and mike didn't find out.

mah. this is all very "you had to be there" kind of stuff.

it's weird how with first impressions, people end up being so different. i thought B was a little smart ass jerk. but he's funny naive yet extremely crude and smart. it's sad how if these guys came to my school, i don't know if i'd talk to them. maybe i'd just ridicule them in my minds. but i love how you can be incredibly nerdy, geeky, naive, and basically fob-ish, and no one makes fun of you. yet they can be really funny too.

gary (the fobiest of them all) found a spinning wheel in the inventory shelves (remember i said that our student lounge was tucked away in the storage level? yeah. sad. but at least we get to play with all the OSC toys that aren't use anymore! too bad they're all older than us though) and we'd spin it, then put it on it's side, and it would stay in one place, standing up. it was weird...incredible...obvious to some people...then we wondered what would happen if we got it spinning really fast, then threw water in it. so we did it, and i got water all over gary. yeah, a spinning bike wheel doesn't stop water. then we started throwing forks, straws, salt packets, anything at gary. it was pretty violent, and he was blocking it all with this spinning bike wheel.

it's funny. cause the people who were acting normal ended up being the people who looked dumb.

oliver is really trying to seperate himself or something. or wait. i take that back. well 2 days ago, he was talking with everyone, and sitting with everyone, and it was fun. but then yesterday he skipped chem and didn't talk to anyone. then today, he didn't go to dinner (he never does anything with us) and skipped all his classes, yet came in for like...the last 5 minutes of the day. lisa saw him in the stairway and asked him what was wrong, and he said he was about to find out if it's good or bad. news. i guess. he didn't say anything to us though, and i guess something is wrong with him....who knows. maybe he's leaving.

so yes. that would be his problem though. he didn't try to make friends...yet he was really nice...and friendly, even when you'd talk to him. i wonder what he thinks of us. i can see how it'd be hard to make friends with some of the guys though, since they're pretty....yeah....think derek langstaff meets mike kent meets ... aaron degroot. weird combo, i know.

i'm kind of tired of people always talking about "ooo the couples". as in the couples who everyone is waiting to hook up. cause the girls will say "oh it's so lame how the guys'll sit on one side of the class, and girls at the other" (true, but i dont' think it's intentional. i mean, girl will sit with guys, and guys with girls.) but then they'll make such a mega-ass deal over two sexes becoming good friends. well...then that conflicts with my "guys-can't-be-just-friends-with-girls-but-girls-can-be-just-friends-with-guys" theory.

i miss dandy andy. i hope he doesn't change in university, though i'm sure he will, and i think i'm already seeing some of the changes. it sucks. i never have funny stories about him anymore. he always says "yo!" and "hey, man". and talks like he's from the ghetto. it's weird. i told him, and he didn't believe me until he said "yeah, we're tight" and "hey man". i dunno what it is.
so he has 3 roommates, and one of them is Korean. Except he's really homesick for Korea so he'll lock himself in his room, drink korean vodka (apparantly really strong) and sing to Korean pop songs. sounds funny, yet indescribably pathetic. i heard korean chopsticks are different from chinese ones. surprised me. then i heard japanese ones are different too. surprised again. i get surprised easily.

wow. 10:00 almost. way past my now-scarily-early bedtime. plus i still got homework to do.

later, chumps!

i'm at school now. and since it's tuesday, it means i'm in my 3 hour long lunch. wheee...

where have all the emails gone? pt. 3

julia: here's a good yearbook theme...."Eat It Up". there's tons of good reasons to have it, but the best (and well...actually the only) is cause i made a yearbook cover for last year's non-themed cover, and my theme was "eat it up" with a St.Paul's Finest cereal box. after a long and very very aggrivating chain of events, i handed it in after a cover was already chosen. my reaction? you can guess!

so anyhoo, you should make it Eat It Up, or else not have a theme at all, cause if you change the theme, i'll have to change my whole design, which is a greater pain in the ass than you will ever know.

yep!

p.s. yay! you downloaded the song! cool cool.

"City of Angels" by the distillers.

it's not what i'd usually like. but i really really like it.

download it if you're desperate to know every little thing about me. freak.ha. ha. ha.

let us get our groove things on!
haha laurie. i watch the other pooh.

it's funny how music by the ramones sounds so...poppy compared to nowadays'. but all the punkers and whatnots cite them as inspirations.

i'm reminded the time i roomed with Sharon during the UN tour. and we were watching muchmusic, and Ramone's "rock and roll high school" came on. it was hilarious.

FUN! and crossdressers. not to mention the miscellaneous band member who did nothing but headbang.

as josh would say "good times." then open his eyes really wide and smile really freakily.

AAAGH. jesus! josie and fran and pple are starting a youth group. somehow, i feel really mad about that. flashback to "cuts for cancer" when i told shannon and jo that we should do something like that.

josie may or may not read this.but it's nothing against her. i just feel like a shit, now. (um...not like taking one. i feel like one. perfectionists.)

wow, it's been a while. damn. i hate that song. no more of that.
speaking of music, i don't know why i like Chantal Kreviachuk (spelt wrong...)'s "Far Away". it's such a bland song...but i like it a lot!

i wonder if pat ever read what i wrote about him that long long time ago. i never got a nasty email, so i'm thinking no.

If i recount today to you, it'll seem like it was a good day, but somehow it made no sense.

Why the fuck are the leaders of Israel and Palestine so fucking blind?! JESUS!!!! There's no end to it all. I watched a newscast of an Israeli political debate, and Ariel Sharon mentioned finding peace with Palestine, and the crowd there booed him off the stage. Then his opponent said that "unlike mr.sharon, i never shook yasser arafat's hand". and the crowd exploded in cheers. The crowd was so rediculous. it was like they were planted or something. But I bet there's more people in those countries who are willing to get along, than there are people who want to fight to death. It's so stupid. Forgetting about cultures, they're the same people, inside. (cliché, i know). but seriously, it was just by chance that they happened to be Palestinian and not Israeli. Chris said this to me once, when we were arguing about religion. He said that the only reason why i'm catholic is by chance. Example: because China went through their Cultural Revolution and all those troubles, it resulting in my dad's dad emigrating to Canada, resulting in him bringing my dad's mom and my dad and his brothers to moving to Toronto. why toronto? who the fuck knows. Then my mom probably would have stayed in Hong Kong if most of her friends weren't going to university in wisconsin. THEN, she wouldn't have gone to school at UofT if my uncles hadn't decided that they'd had enough of living at home, and they wanted to see the rest of the world by going to school in Canada. So if all of that hadn't happened, i'd either be a "real" chinese girl, living in hong kong (or szechuan, dad's province, depends on your point of view) or if you really think about it, i wouldn't exist. Do you think you'd still be you if you had different parents? does that make sense? (by the way, shannon, laurie and i found out that senCe isnt' a world. poopers.) What i mean is that your genetic makeup would be different, so wouldn't you say that you'd be a different person? cause then, if you say that no, i'd still be me, just different, then that means that right now, you are really someone else. because you just happen to be someone else but with different person. But i could go on and on, but then you get into stuff like "whoa, if she hadn't eaten that piece of cheese after dropping that fork in that restauraunt she chose because it happened to be raining....my parents wouldn't have met, and i wouldn't exist."

wait a minute...i guess it's not really by chance that they'd be palestinian, and not israeli. cause i can't see how i'd be japanese, by chance. oh wait, yes i can. nevermind.

I think it's cause of stuff like that that leads people to think that there's such thing as fate and destiny. Life seems so much less scary when you think that everything has a reason, and that it if you fail, it doesn't matter, since there's no way things could have gone any other way. Fate and Destiny is all a bag of crap, in my opinion.

i get so philosophical when i'm moody. philosophical. philisophical. philisofical. hmm...

that goddamn AXE body deoderant commercial is on again. what the fuck is with that?
whoa leann rhimes looks like britney spears in her new video. coincidence? i think not! looks like another artist sold out. rhimes. rimes..aaagh! why can't i spell anymore!

so yes. let me recount my day, now that i've ranted a bit, and can be a little more objective.
I got all my assignments finished in time, and on date, which was fucking amazing. Except that now i'm paying for it with a huge-ass miagrane. so the SCI SOC (science in society...you prolly figured that out on your own, though) presentation i did with Caitlin on Rutherford went really well, even though we messed up a few lines. but i think that made it funnier. as i said, i wrote the script, since caitlin did the summary. so i threw out the old idea of having a high-school party of scientists, and did it like rutherford was coming home late after a night of physics, and his mom would be mad. so it was sort of the same idea...lots of alcohol "innuendos" and partying inside jokes. cause, you know. i'm such a fucking party animal. anyways...
Like i said, it went well. Everyone laughed when they were supposed to (sometimes more) and Caitlin was great as the mom. Somehow, i felt ... not happy. Looking back, i think it's because the mom was the funnier and more interesting character, so somehow, it looked better on Caitlin, since she wasn't boring. Yet I wrote the script, so i feel like i should get recognition for being the more creative and funny one. I know this sounds really really immature, but it was all subconscious. it wasn't like i was mumbling and grumbling, or mad at caitlin or anything like that. But it's my own fault for not dividing up the jobs evenly. except that i didn't trust caitlin to make it funny. it hasn't been the first time this happened either...as you'll see.

So after SCISOC is bio. which i had another presentation/skit to do. this time it was with Laura, and we were talking about lysosomes/peroxisomes. I wrote the script for this one too, and the summary. Laura did all of the research, and most of the model. so i did this one in like Laura was the Lysosome Hunter, complete with Tilly hat and Australian accent. she's really good at it. she can dance like elaine off seinfeld too. anyways, i was the tourist, with gross bahama shirt and visor. that one turned out well too, with laughs and such. Of course, the lysosome hunter part was the funnier character again, but i didn't work as long on this one, so i don't care as much about it. even though i think it's better. why do i keep giving the funnier parts to other people? probably just chance. whatever, it's not worth talking about anymore.

So then at lunch was the Calc test (cut into lunch cause we wanted more time to finish it). it went exactly as expected. which isn't anything good, but isn't anything bad, either. There were 2 questions i had no idea about, but i gave an answer anyways. Apparantly, they're already marked, but i didn't have the nads to ask Mike what i got. i'd rather read it than have him tell me to my face, and have someone see my change of emotions.

After Calc test was Puzzles training, for my labcoat. which i earned. yay! but they're out of smalls. boo. it was fun. it made me realize that more hot guys are interested in science than i thought there'd be. of course, they're always there with families, which is sort of funny. i was really shy in the start, but in the end i was whippin out puzzles like no other.

so by now, i'm really happy and relieved that there's a possibility i might not have any homework. at least...no urgent homework.
i go to the comp lab to check email, and Kristine is there. I ask what she's doing. she's doing the essay. the essay that was assigned today? no, the essay that was DUE today. ohhhh...awkward pause. Jenna walks in, like her overly flamboyant self. plops down and starts reading a book. the book is a collection of essays by this Sam J. Gould guy, who apparantly writes booksand books of essays. our new essay assignment is to read one of his essays and comment on it, or something like that (i haven't looked at our ass. yet. i love saying ass instead of assignment. it makes things fun. "Vishnu's Ass. Rutherford's Ass."). i figure i'll go get a book too, and read an essay. i do, and it's boring. i read another, and it's alright, but i can't figure out what the hell the guy is trying to say. i think it's something about dinosaur extinction. so i flip through, and i see a really really weird picture of the "Hottentot Venus". I read the corresponding essay, and it's amazingly fun. even though it doesnt' get to a point until the end of the essay. I was just looking for a link to the essay, or to the image, so you'd know what i was talking about. but i can't. maybe later.

anyways, jenna leaves. alex the girl comes in and asks if we'd seen the new furniture arrangement in the student's lounge/section of a hallway. we say no. alex says, "all the tables are gone, and the chairs are in a big circle around the exercise bike" (one day, me and 3 other kids were in the lounge, and a guy comes up wheeling a broken exercise bike. he asks if we want it, we say "hell yeah!" and that's it. it sort of works now, though, but people ride it for fun. you get one guy on one side, and another on another, and then you try to balance.). she said that she thought i did it. i say "Meeeeeeee??" she says : well you know, cause your (i thought she'd say "weird like that") fun and crazy and joyful like that. (awwww...meeeee....) but no, it wasn't me. we go back, and the tables are back, but the funny cult-ish arrangement is still there. on the board says "Fung Shui". B(harat) asks what it means. i almost fucking pass out from the fact that i know something he doesn't.

me and kristine are walking towards the exit together, and i ask if she and amanda are good friends. she says "yeah, sort of" and for some unknown reason, i tell her of how laura doesn't like amanda. well...doesn't dislike...just doesn't like. kristine says stuff along the lines of, is that it? and it turns out that yeah, that is all i had to say. i felt really really dumb for saying stuff that had no point (not uncommon, but this time was different. i was expecting a convo out of it) and cause laura didnt' think i'd tell anyone. kristine was really out of it. sometimes i feel like we're friends, sometimes we're not, cause she acts the same way around everyone.

i hate fucking talking about science centre to my old friends. i dont know why, especially since that's all i have to talk about to anyone.

josie said she missed me. which is cool, cause i miss everyone too. but when people say, "things are weird without you here", i dont' know if i believe that or not. maybe at first, yeah, but after a while...maybe they're trying to make me feel better. which is great. or maybe it's true, which is surprising.

i hope i did well on the test...it's a lot bigger of a factor on self-esteem than i thought it'd be. i hate relying on stuff for happiness. even stuff as dumb as smarts. going to school in a place where smarts is what counts instead of popularity or attractiveness has made me realize that smarts can be just as superficial as anything else. at least, it can seem like that sometimes.

So on the bus, i was sitting and i had to get out. the lady beside me wouldn't move her lazy ass, she only shifted her legs a little. so i had to shovel my ass and all my bags out around her, while the bus driver is stopping and speeding up like a fucking moron. must have almost smashed her (the lady) in the had a few times. she fucking deserved it.

See what i mean about being able to get in a bad mood from someone else!? back home, i nearly never got mad at dumb shit like that.

So on the walk home, i'm stewing about all this, and thinking "fucking lady. jesus, i hate riding the bus. today was a shitty day". even though the majority of it was a great day, just the ending was bad. so i'mwalking, and there's this other lady walking towards me, who looked what i probably looked like. same emotion i mean. so i looked at her and she looked at me, and i smiled, and she sort of smiled. i wonder if i made her day better, cause i've known times when my whole day was made better cause someone smiled at me.

Today i noticed that every time i see a pearl-coloured toyota sienna, i get really hopeful that it's my mom. then i come back to earth and realize that there's no way it can be my mom. and i get really let down. then i get even sadder because i realize that i miss her a lot. i'm too attached to my mom. wait. no i'm not. everyone else is too detached from their family, is all.

i feel like i don't matter. like if i'm not smart, i'm nothing. i need a life, and to get away from living through my homework and grades. i miss swimming, and walking around alone, and being able to be with people without having to keep up a conversation. i want my friends to come up and visit with me, to remind me that i do belong somewhere. i'm trying to bribe them with saying i'll take them semi-formal shopping. it seems to work. if you (any of the people i'm talking about) read this, please please please don't go to me and say "awwwww" or "you'll belong with us no matter what!" or "we'll come up to see you even if there's no shopping" or anything like that to try to make me feel better. it won't really do anything. writing stuff out is just a way for me to cope, is all.

!!!!!! THAT's what it is!!! i feel like i don't belong here!!!! i feel like i don't belong anywhere; my aunt's house, school, with my new classmates....in this whole fucking city! ahhhh....i feel better now. sort of. that must be why everything and everyone feels fake here. they're either fakes or jackass bus cronies.

tomorrow the school is going out to The Friendly Greek together. mmm i love greek salad.

some of the weirder jobs i've wanted to be:
-cartoonist
-farmer
-novelist
-any sort of writer
-essayist (whatever that is. they have 'em all the time in the judging panel of Iron Chef. you know, that lady whose sometimes a fortune teller, sometimes an essayist...)
-mountie (canadian FBI, man! yeah!)
-prime minister
-politician of any sort. (damn you p.e.t! you know who i'm talking about)

(LLCoolJ = Ladies Love Cool James. i wonder if he actually did get all the ladie's love. cause it's always the guys who try to promote themselves like that, that you wonder about...fruté.)

during my driving lesson with john allen, some guy yelled "you suck!" as i drove past him. then, some guy on a scooter tried to act like he was gonna ride into me, even though he was on the sidewalk the whole time. dumbass. shirtless dumbass. actually, i found it all pretty funny, as if it was happening to someone else.

the "you rock my world" by mj video was meant to make sense, was it? heheh he sounds so scared when he tips over the table.

one thing i miss from ttown is being able to walk home from school, when i could clear my mind after a tough day, and just be alone (okay, i'll say it: one with nature). it's so stressful trying to get home now. almost moreso than school. i miss fresh air and natural light. today i went all the way to sherbourne station from school, to get my student ttc pass. too bad i FORGOT MY DRIVER'S LICENCE!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHH!!! i spent over $10 just to get there and back, plus on regular priced tokens since i'm too out of it to remember student I.D.

my bio teacher, gabriel was talking a lot about the aventis biotech challenge, which a lot of us are entering. it's really daunting and intimidating because gabe keeps talking about some of his students who went all the way, and placed really high, and got scholarships and recommendations from professors, and found temporary cures for alzheimers and la dee da. i know he's just trying to motivate and inspire us, but i feel like it's an expectation or something. he keeps saying, "oh, i hear this every year; that it's too hard to find a topic, and it's so scary to see what everyone else did..." but it really is hard to find a topic!! and it really is really really scary to see what they all did!!!!!!

at least i finally get calculus. ahhh...well, i probably just jinxed it there, but oh well.

the historical science skits are starting on thursday. Caitlin and I are doing Rutherford. It seems like everyone else knows a whole lot about all the scientific guys you can think of, meanwhile i know nothing about any of them. exaggeration, but you know what i mean. it's a little sad, because it's always the people from toronto who were taught everything, and us small townies who were screwed over. but i think we'll get by. i'm writing the script for the skit, and my current idea is to make it like a high school party, except with a whole bunch of scientists all through time. then, since the class is supposed to guess who we did our skit on, i could get someone to be like, "whose house is this anyways?"
"god, i dunno. but i heard he...."
"whoa man.."
kay, maybe not like that...
then i don't know why i'd have a whole bunch of scientist all through time at the party, since there'd be no point for them to be there. i mean, if they all studied stuff not related to rutherford's stuff.

i dont' want to get rid of the party idea, since i used to have a whole bunch of ideas for how to make it funny, but it's starting to seem like it's not gonna be funny at all. well, everyone has pretty much accepted that everyone's skits are going to be boring, so we have a pact to not try hard. (as if that'll work. frig, damn overachievers.)

hmm....maybe i could do a cooking show instead...

swimming starts next week. aagh! i'm starting to think maybe i shouldn't join. it would take up so much time...but i've been eating everything i've been seeing because i keep saying "oh, i'm gonna start swimming next week, anyways" to myself as an excuse.

julie mazmanian, an old swimming friend talked last night, to me. love that grammar. it was awkward. she's really blunt, so she would ask me questions like "do you have a bf?" out of the blue.

s'all for now!

wow, what a weird week. it really is day to day for me, cause friday was a really bad day, i was so upset, and emotional about everything. but mainly calculus. i mean they are now teaching the old curriculum for everything, so there's so much stuff i was supposed to learn this year, except they don't tell me that i'm supposed to learn it this year, so i think that there's something i missed last year, and it's really upsetting being the class dumbass.

i thought i was the only one feeling like this, but it turns out most everyone is. it's a really comforting feeling.

sum 41 was ok. i wouldn't have gone if it wasn't free. the opening act was Not by Choice, who was okay too. i felt bad for them cause the crowd wasn't into it at all. there was one girl who looked like shannon fielding who was going friggin' insane, but oh well. the average age of other people there was 11, i think. everyone was so young! and there with their parents!! turns out it was for the pepsi challenge thing, so only people who won the pepsi challenge got to go. there weren't very many people. sum 41 disgusted us. the lead guy kept spitting everywhere, and spat on the crowd once. we were really close, and we could smell some damn ugly B.O. it only came out when sum 41 came out though, so you can draw your own conclusions!!!

it was really really weird. it was like a backstreet boys concert with all the little girls with crushes, except a punk band. there were so many posers there though....sickening. the lead guy was drunk...and it was 3 in the afternoon.

today i went shopping with alison. it was alright. we talked about sort of the same things that i talked about with christine, jessica, and jessica's bf mike yesterday. i.e: people still acting fake, and how that makes it hard to make friends, not wanting to make friends, but wanting to at the same time, the feeling of being academically inadequate...

my uncle ,grand parents, and Tita (my grandparent's sort of housekeeper/looker-after-er) left for vancouver today, then hong kong later next week. so i'm here with my aunt, and things are good. but she thinks i'm a big yes-woman, so meh. i didn't realize how much i missed my intermediate family until i saw them yesterday. it was great! plus rosco. who was smelly.

so i mentioned how christine was joking around with me about moving in with me once i have the house to myself. i'm starting to seriously consider that. because it takes her up to 2 hours to drive to where she lives, and it's rediculous. then alison could come over whenever. me and alison have this lame connection, both being from small towns. (she's from sarnia, which i consider a real city, but ho-hum). it's funny. well, not really. i'm sort of tired. my eyelids feel really heavy. i'm gonna look for some tape, and then i'm gonna do that thing that some people do to create double-eyelids. not cause i'm vain, but cause my eyelids are really weird right now. they're like...thick or something. so it makes me feel tired all the time. we'll see how it goes..

i think i'll talk to kristine (i forgot her name is spelt with a k) about moving in, only if we're good friends by oct.4th. (when my aunt leaves). cause i dont' want to have to act polite and unnatural in my own house.

all i got today was graph paper for calc class. oh how boring i can be!

i just discovered how out of the loop i am. i kind of feel like the only one who hasn't found someone alike at the science centre, too. except for jessica, but we're never in the same class, at the same time, so we never get to talk. i'm such a jealous person...i'll see two people getting along, and then i'll get mad. it's weird, and dumb. but i'm through with trying to make friends, i'll let them come to me. hahaha i'm sure that'll work well.

anyways, the reason why i'm so out of the loop. i went to the photocopier with christine (she's a lot like josie, only less jumpy, and a little fake) and we were gossiping, i guess. these are the new and improved, future couples... (this was what we were discussing)

Josh (who is seeing Heather!) with Amanda. (poor heather. she's really cool)
Alex and Jenn (so obvious. jen is sort of....i dunno...)
Lisa and Richard, as always. richard's head seems so out of proportion from his body, but i'm not sure if that's it. it's something though...

but this was just what we were talking about. i still think lisa and richard are just friends though. it's only cause one's a guy and one's a girl that everyone's making a deal out of it.

Christine told me that she, Jenna (i don't know about her...she's seems fake too. but whatever, i barely know her) and Amanda were talking about all this at a dinner during the retreat. i was sort of amazed people started gossipping that early, even though i guess that's how it usually goes.

oliver's cool. he talks now. hahaha. except he has the opposite classes from me. all the people i like more are taking chem and phys. so i never get to see any of them. it sucks...

calculus is so stressful. i feel like the biggest dumbass, because everyone else gets it right away, and they do all the questions really quickly. and i never understand what they're asking when they ask questions, and i'm the person whose always glancing over shoulders and asking, "how did you do that?". it makes me mad at myself, because i know how that made me feel, when people would always did that to me.

i've been trying to hang out a bit with everyone, but cause of that, i'm not making any close friends. they're all just...friends. and if it wasn't for me having no one else to hang out with in this city, they'd be acquaintances. but i dwell too much, then it seems worse.

but it's weird because yesterday, i was all happy about it, and now i'm a little iffy about the whole thing. i just miss having a good friend to hang out with. i'm trying to think of what's better; to be friends with everyone, or to be really good friends with one or two people. i'm starting to think the latter, but i dunno. it sucks to feel like you're being excluded, even when you're not. i'm gonna try to include everyone from now on...even gary. hey! speaking of gary, i never saw him today! oh wait, i did. he's one of those kids who are really smart, but really really naive. i feel bad for those guys.

today in calculus we learned about one-sided limits, which totally threw me off from what i always thought a limit was. i don't like classroom environments anymore. at least not when everyone is trying to impress everyone else, and jen and lisa don't stop talking!! agh! hey, i think i found the reason for all my bitching! wow...

damn, what a crappy blog. ah well.

so yes. i talked to steph today. we discussed our likes and dislikes of being called Stephie, which my aunt always calls me. i never noticed because she says it fast. lisa keeps wearing shirts that i have, except in different colours. damn you jacob! at least i always wear them first. hehehehe damn, i'm superficial. jenna is loud, which makes me sort of dislike her.

i think people think i'm Annie, and that Annie is me. goddamit!!! that ruined my day. because lisa and jen were talking about wearing sneakers to class (we're not supposed to *not business casual!* but people do, anyways) and then lisa said, "steph's wore them once." and jen turned to look at annie's feet. lisa: "no, not that one..."

gaaggagag.ggg...

today we finished our training in praticum. we did the chinese bowl, which when you rub, makes the water inside rumble and jump. it's really cool. and we did puzzles, which is just puzzles, like the ones you'd find in the science gift store. real ones, not jigsaw or anything. they were fun. as a demonstration, the guy teaching us gave me a puzzle that was supposed to be meant for 5 year olds, and i couldn't figure it out. yeah, i'm aimed for success, everyway you look at it! hahaha

christine said she's gonna move in with me when my aunt and uncle leave! kind of weird, since we're not close, but she's the kind of person who'se really friendly. plus she can cook. so fun! maybe i can get a whole bunch of people to be roomies with me. it'd be like Friends! except in a house...and with lots of science....ohhhhh

this is all from julia's blog.

so i said "i can't believe it's tuesday" on a wednesday?
yeah, that sounds like something i'd do.
go on and laugh. me and derek langstaff will combine forces and get you someday...

i remember once, i creeped him out. strange change of roles. that was my height of creepiness though.

holy shite

adam smith goes to spcss?!

damn!

i dont' know what to say to that.
just a big shock.

aww everyone left suddenly.

hahahha that's pretty funny though. because i'll read their goodbyes, and start to type "bye", then realize that they're already offline. or i'll keep typing until messenger does that repeat thing where they say that they didnt' get the message.

ahhh geez.

i'm trying to force shannon into complimenting me.

alex (the girl) brought in two fishes today for our student lounge. they dont' do anything, except sit on the bottom. alex says they're traumatized from the stressful car ride, but that's just something she'd say. tree hugger. haha

holy shit. 4 convos at once. i'm not saying this to sound all miss uber-popularity, it's just weird cause usually i don't talk to anyone online...

today while buying lunch, a better than ezra song (I Do) came on the radio, and i freaked out.

i love when that happens. it makes you feel lucky or something, because it would be so unlikely to get to hear it.

sorry laurie! msn kicked me off, and i can't go back on!! i feel like a jerk-ass..

the commercials for Axe body deoderant, and the Just for Men hairdye are lame. their kickers are that if you buy the product, ladies won't stop giving it to you. how sad is that?! that reminds me of how today on the bus. we were going home and the bus was PACKED. so i was holding onto a pole, and then this couple comes up, and they hold on to the poles right beside me. except they're on opposite sides of me, so then they start hugging and kissing, and meanwhile, i'm literally, in the middle of it!! ugh today was too hot. what kind of a september is this?? i can't wait till the fall weather rolls in.

today i realized that my life basically revolves around the science centre. what am i talking about!? it does. at least until i start swimming again. but until then, i'll wake up, go to school, hang around for whatever kind of extra things are going on, then go home and do work. then on the weekends, i'll hang around with science centre kids. damn, i can't believe it's tuesday!! i swear, i thought it was friday. this week has been so long. last night i was really ... well i was going to say depressed, but just really really dissapointed that my science centre experience seemed to be no where near as good as andrew's was. to be totally honest, i was having a bad time, and it wasn't because of the program, it was only because of my classmates. basically, it was like taking all the smart, quiet kids from your classes, and putting them together in a big (sorta) class. it was really sucky. i thought all of them were uninteresting and had no personalities. but today totally changed my opinion, just because i finally feel normal around them, and even if i'm the only one talking, at least i can finally act like myself.

i don't think they're ready for all the farting and belching though. not yet, anyways. just kidding!! (haha, you wish)

so the reason why i mentioned all that was just like a warning that most of my blog is gonna be about OSCSS. or at least a heads up. anyways, like i said, today changed everything, and now i can accept that i'm having fun (as fun as classes and work can be), and that i'm glad i did this. of course, i haven't been assigned anything too heinous..yet. gaah! so today we got "trained" on praticum.

praticum: a requirement all OSCSS students have to do to graduate. it's at least 15 hours of walking around the centre and talking and explaining to people. usually we're assigned to an exhibit, and we just try to get attention and make people get all nerdy. yay!

the training was fun because we re-met a guy who was at our interviews, Vishnu. he's hilarious, in a lame and immature way. like this experiment going off, and this gassy sound sounding everywhere, and him trying to convince us he wasn't farting. he was kind of creepy too, which made it better. for some reason, we were behind a curtain with a whole bunch of kid's toys, so everyone was acting lame, but fun.

in biology, we're doing review. and it's all gr.11 CHEM review. weird, eh? i guess we really need some of that stuff to talk in the bio lingo or something or other. it's a good thing though, because i finally realize the downside to just memorizing everything before the exams. now it's like i haven't learned anything at all. our teacher, Gabriel is sort of forgetful too, which looks promising! he said we are all doing a "Scientific Investigation Project" and it's worth 10% of our mark. he's then going to enter them in a BioTech contest. some of the winners came from OSCSS, and some grew up to start their own companies and now are bossing their old teachers around. agh. i hate all the comparisons to past students. even if it was just a small percentage of them, it's still putting a lot of pressure. i still dont' know what to do for my science project. he left it really open. annie did it last year, and she said that it's fun, a lot of work, and you get to work with a professor. gaah. i'm in way over my head.

jessica's aunt gave her 4 free tickets to a sum 41 concert this saturday. she asked if i wanted to go, and even though i'm not a big sum 41 fan, (neither is she) we both really want to go, cause you'd figure a punk crowd like them would have an amazing concert. it was funny, cause she asked if i wanted to go, and i'm like "well...i dunno...sum 41? yeah, they're alright....i guess...doesn't matter....etc etc". and she says basically the same thing, then throws in they're free tickets, and i'm like"what?!! free?? oh damn!! i'm so there!!! let's go let's go!". i didn't realize how cheap i've gotten till she pointed that out. i guess she found it funny, at least.

one day i was going to school, and out side, there was a movie set. sorta. it looked like they were filming a dodge truck commercal on the science centre property. i heard that it was a commercial, that was supposed to be in a real movie, but i dunno. so if a dodge truck commercial comes out, and the guy in the drivers seat is wearing a striped yellow-brown-gross undertone'd shirt, with curly brown hair, it's the one i'm talking about!!!

it seems like all the quiet people are starting to come out of their shells. it's good. but i maintain my stance that i don't want any guys and girls hooking up, cause that causes lame problems, but i have a feeling sooner or later, alex (the guy, obviously) and jen will hook up. and i thought i saw heather and josh holding hands. but i think i might have been wrong. but if not them, richard is gonna confess he has a thing for lisa, and it's gonna make things weird.
ohh, i feel like a loser because it sounds like i hide behind bushes and spy on people, or something like that. right? right??

i had a 3 hour lunch today, because of our weird and unpredictable class schedule. and i rode an elevator with my calculus teacher. it almost got awkward. i don't think students are supposed to use the elevators. my aunt just told me i could sleep in the basement tonight. you won't believe how hot it is in my room!!!!

i left all my pants at home, when i did my laundry!!!!! noooo. so i had to go out and emergency buy pants. yesssssss. i got some from Garage, and i was sort of iffy about buying them, cause they were so skanky and long. but i did, then the girl told me i could return them in 7 days. yeah, you know what i'm gonna say next, right?? i know. i'm sad. but i actually didn't return them after wearing them. i just returned them about an hour later, because they were really overpriced. but the bad thing is that i returned them, and the same girl who sold them to me, returned them for me!! she's like: wow you didn't get very far with those, did you?
she was offended, but who cares.

i was trying to fall asleep on our student lounge couch (sooo gross. it's unnaturally soft and squishy), and i noticed some people had written on the armrest where the cloth was ripped off. i was reading them, and i noticed andrew's writing! he wrote : andrew says hello. so i wrote: steph says andrew smells. as if andrew will go back and check the couch one day. yeah, my insults bite.

that reminds me of how even though everyone's getting to know each other faster, we're still in the stage where pity laughs, and polite laughs are always laughed. it's great. i'll say the dumbest thing, and at least someone will laugh. or maybe they just think i'm an idiot. hmm...ohhhhh....

i talked to oliver during SciSoc (science in society) on the first class day. i sorta found out why he always seperates himself. in short, he thinks he's too cool.("for school", as Vishnu said.) he said that "most of my friends aren't exactly the academic type...so....youknow". but it's alright. he's still a good guy. i can see what he means though. there are some hardcore nerds here. sometimes they're painfully shy, but at least they're not mean, or rude. the bad thing is that all the guys think that oliver doesn't like them now or something, so it'll be harder for him to meet people. but that probably doesn't matter. he's from toronto, so he can see his friends whenever he wants.

this was one of our convos. try to imagine it, and you'll understand the embarassment from both sides...

josh: oliver, why couldn't you come out to supper with us the other night?
oliver: well uh… one of my friends was going away for a long time, so...
me: *i swear, just trying to make conversation!!* oh really? where's he going?
oliver: *struggling* umm....uh....*throws hands up*...heh...i'll go get the books.

i finally got it, and i felt like a bum. but it's his fault!

Jason Lee is cool....a stealing harvard movie trailer just came on. i dunno about that movie though....

i got my OSC pass today. it has a picture of me on it. one of my eyes is red. it's fun.

today, our coordinator, Amanda scheduled Phil, the big astronomy guy to do a Starlab for us, and whoever else wanted to come. Starlab is like a mini planetarium, with a fake sky. so he pointed out a few stars and whutnot. i thought it would do more, but it didn't. so it was a bit of a letdown. i'm running out of things to talk about, as you can see.

i don't want to fully admit i'm having a good time at the science centre, because then it'll probably suddenly turn crappy again. it didn't even turn good until i fully admitted that i was having a really bad time. agh. fate is such a bitch!

oo i'm so poetic.

time to do some work...

Dedicatied to Shanoon, the Grammah police. Becuz these bloogs. there makeing no sence! senCe!

today mr.peshnak called. i was at the comp when it happened, so i ran for the phone, which is in the kitchen. course i had to have been wearing socks, and our floors were just waxed. well, if you haven't already guessed, i slid, hit some steps, tripped on them, and skinned my knee. i was so frustrated i didn't pick up the phone. i was like "awww fuck you, bastard!!!" i don't even know who/what i was talking to. mr.peshnak? the phone? the wax?? ah well.

so now both of my knees are skinned. the other one got skinned at the retreat, during "skiis". not pretty. when we fell doing skiis, i fell onto allison. and she pushed me off. i don't know why, but i felt hurt that she pushed me off. which makes no sence, cause i'd probably do that to anyone else.

i know i'm trying not to name off loads of songs and artists in my blog, but seriously, you guys HAVE to check out Jack Johnson (try "Flake" or "Posters") and if you haven't heard the Sam Roberts song (Brother Down) you've got to find it somewhere. the Sam Roberts one was the one i was talking about a few weeks ago.

if you do download it, or if you've heard the songs, tell me what you think of it!!

i just came back from a driving lesson with J.A. oh damn, it was fun, i suppose, but i was feeling a little out of it. like for some reason, i was in the state of mind of when you drive in a video game. i was feeling reckless, and that nothing would happen if i ran over a person. i kept forgetting to signal, and i'd be watching a curb approaching me really quickly, and i wouldn't react. and i was going 70 in a 50 zone, and john allen's like .." okay, alright, keep your eyes moving, aim to be in the middle of the lane, bring your speed down a touch..." and he was all calm. i think he used the panic pedal 5 times, but hey! he said it was a good start! lol
no it was pretty good.

so anyways, here's the rest of my classmates...my first impressions of them, and in italics, jo shan and franman's guessworks. for some reason, they keep mentioning what nationality they'll be. i dunno why. but here goes...again...

Annie: gonna follow you around; tall and thin. she's shorter and regular size, and she doesn't really follow me around. actually she sort of has no choice, since we ride the same bus to go home. she helps me out whenever i have a question about transit systems. i dont' know her well, but her face seems familiar...someone got us mixed up because she wore a red collared shirt one day, and i wore the same thing the next. so they went to me and asked : why were you wearing annie's nametag yesterday? i kept getting you guys mixed up!". but i WASN'T! but i WAS wearing a nametag. so i thought maybe i had worn hers all day without knowing it!!! but annie's like "but i have my nametag..." i bet the other girl felt dumb. i think she was lisa.

Robin: guy?? girl??? fat?? well he's a guy. and he's thin. and has huge ears that stick out of his head at a right angle. he moved to canada 3 years ago, and knows cantonese, mandarin, and english. he's kind of a smartass. i think he has a thing against CBC's, but who knows.

Jen: loser. no, she's great. she played ultimate frisbee too. (big deal because only 3 girls played. me, lisa, and jen.) she went to OFSSA for track running. she's nice but i didn't talk to her much. there was an awkward moment when someone asked her where her dad worked, and then they didnt' understand that her dad didn't live with her mom. but jen was cool about it.

Jeff: class clown . this is funny, cause the only reason why they said he was the class clown was cause his last name is Mock. anywho, he's chinese and knows karate. he's doing his brown belt. he's quiet, but fun. he was in my group for the scavenger hunt. that was the best thing for the whole three days. my group was fun. anyways, he's quiet, but of course, he's nice. no one can be mean yet. everyone's just sociably polite. it was killing me! but jeff brought along travel scrabble, so he was the one everyone wanted to sit with on the bus. haha

Lisa: portugese. geez guys!! "portugese." okay, i can totally see what she's gonna be like now!! nice assessment. she's italian, actually. and really talkative. big extrovert. she's in OAC, and has a bunch of drunken stories. there's something going on with her and richard, but no one is sure what it is, and on what level. but i think she's just the kind of girl who makes friends with guys easily. the funny thing is i think that a girl like her and a guy like richard would never talk if they went to the same high school. she's almost intimidatingly outgoing. but friendly and confident. she's from somewhere near niagara falls. i never found out where she's staying.

Amanda: italian. really nice. she is italian. she's really nice and friendly. really outgoing. has really long eyebrows. but they're not big. her dad's a hairdresser! she has nice hair too. she speaks italian. i like her, but i dind't talk to her much. she's pretty talkative.

Oliver: quiet guy that no one likes. well he's quiet, but i dont' know if no one likes him. no one really knows enough about anyone to not like anyone in particular. he's really cool though. he has this vibe like he doesn't care what anyone thinks, and he'll go off on his own, and he likes it like that, but then when you talk to him, he's really friendly and really nice. he was my partner in the jello eating contest. we won with eating a bowl in 13 seconds.

Laura: annoying. no way, she's great. she's nice and friendly, but a little bit quiet. she used to remind me of Hannah, but not anymore. she's cool. we were in the same group to build the 10-minute Time Machine, and scavenger hunt.

Jenna:fashion freak. your new friend. she seems like the kind of girl to follow all the fads. she wears way too much make up, and i think she's insecure cause she's really really loud. maybe trying too hard?? whatever. but she's still nice. i didn't talk to her much. she's the one who cares the most about finding out what's going on with lisa and richard. i don't know if i like her. but meh. i don't know if i like anyone yet.

Steph: town loser. .....HEY!!! you bitches!! hahahha

Alex: hot and popular. like i said, no one is more popular than anyone else yet. so no. she's a real real girl, and it's cool. she's down to earth, yet she's a tree-hugger too. so interesting combo. she said her old high school is known for the number of eating disorders found in it. so she really didnt' like that school. andrea said she always thought everyone from that school was an airhead. alex agrees. she's going to an artsy-fartsy school next semester.

Gary: loser. well if i had to decide on one person being the loser of the group, i'd be gary. the group is too small for everyone to become really close, but i think it's too big for people to hang out without someone else to be excluded. at least that's what it's like right now. i think he's the one whose never left toronto in his life. he looks like the stereotypical chinese person you'd see in an old movie. really slanted eyes, fuzzy hair, short, always smiling, funny teeth. he's nice though, i hope no one leaves him out because he's different. he sat by himself on the bus ride home. because oliver sat by himself, and they didn't sit together for some reason. i think gary's used to being the outsider at his school, so he's not trying. but you'd think that if he was like that, he wouldn't get past the interview. i'm sure he's just still got his guard up. he seems shy.

Andrea: steph's bud. snot 1/2. she's not snotty at all. she's like me in that she doesn't know what she wants to do because she likes a bit of everything, but instead of always wanting to go into medicine, she wants to do business. she's a cheerleader. and quiet, but friendly. i think she's not normally quiet, but only a little shy at first. she's nice. as is everyone else...

Christine: quiet. she's not quiet at all!!! this was the girl i was going to call to be my roomate, but my aunt said that she felt weird about having a stranger in the house. she's really friendly, and she learned my name fast. she's tall for being an asian, and she's from toronto area. she's outgoing too. i dont' know much about her personality, but i like her. she always tries to make people included.

Steph W : polish. i have no idea if she's polish or not. but she's shy, but you can tell she's trying to be outgoing. which is good. i feel a little bad for her because when people are looking for me, they call me steph, but when they look for her, they call her steph w. i hope she doesn't think anything of that.

Cliff: immigrant either wayi dont' know what they meant by "either way". but he's not an immigrant. he's chinese and does martial arts, but it's a different form than Jeff's...it's something to do with the praying mantis style. it's cool. at dinner, they were talking about it, and jeff asked if they do self-defence too. cliff's like "well, the chinese martial arts don't really talk about self-defence. i think they were meant for war and street fighting...cause it's really dirty." it was funny. cliff is nice, outgoing, friendly (my 3 main words i'm using for all this describing) but he's not loud, which is good. jessica likes him a lot, but not in the romantic way. she just thinks he's great.

Kelvin: he'll woo you. hahahhahaha oh god. could that have anything to do with the fact that his last name is Woo?? nah, of course not. lol. kelvin's tall and he sort of looks like Chow-Yun-Fat. he was in my time-machine group. he's a quiet-talker, and has a really deep voice, but he's nice, friendly, blah blah. not so much outgoing, but still a good guy. we were on the same team for Capture the flag. we ended up being defenders together, so we hung out a bunch.

Richard: nice+cool+popular he's nice. but i don't think he's cool. he's quiet. or maybe shy. his head looks out of proportion to his body. it's bigger. we worked together on the 10-minute time machine, and we kept coming up with opposite ideas. i think he's really used to working alone, or else doing everything himself. it was annoying me, but then again, that was near the end of the retreat, when i was in a bad mood.

Josh: cool??. yeah, he's cool. he's nice..etc etc. really funny too. he shows the most personality out of the whole group. so far, anyways.

my mom is trying to be late for a wedding on purpose.

i kind of feel bad that i don't like talking about OSCSS, since there's not really anything to talk about, and if i talk, i'll just make it sound bad when really, i had a really good time. i was feeling a bit homesick. when my mom picked me up, i started being really gross and bitchy and acting like the opposite of how i've been acting for the last 3 days. it was great. she missed me, so she was like "awww!!" to everything i did. it was funny. but i've got to stop acting mean now, because i think it's going too far. i just hate the whole thinking about what other people think of you. i haven't had to do that since kindergarten. and making friends back then was as easy as asking someone to be your best friend.

i need some me time. hahahahhahaha

chris called. he said that last night, a bunch of drunks came onto the campus and got in a big street fight. they were trying to kill each other and everything. no students were involved. he's pretty stressed out about being a don, but i think it'll be worth it in the end.

mark's house is really big!!! the rent is 6000 bucks, a month, but luckily he has like, 9 housemates. well...i'm not sure how many exactly, but it works out alright. he has a fireplace in his room. i think his room is actually supposed to be a den, but oh well. i like the house a lot. the neighbourhood is cool too.

ahhhh listening to my playlist. i've missed it soo much. i'm gonna try to see if there's anyway to load it onto the computer in toronto. but then again, it's not my computer. maybe i shouldn't....

family has been asking what i want for my bday (oct 25!! coming uuuup...). the only thing i'm asking for is a portable cd player. then i'll have something to do on the way to and from OSCSS. actually, i asked for other stuff, but the other stuff is crazily rediculous, and i know i'm not going to get it. i.e: tickets to a better than ezra show, (they are in the us for the winter), a better than ezra band shirt (lol, as if anyone would ever find one!!), cat stevens or simon and garfunkel piano sheet music (well, i guess that's not that insane. i think i might get that...). but i don't mind if i don't get anything. we never used to give gifts on bdays until only a few years ago. and even then, not consistantly.

i was at a chinese restaurant with the grandpappies yesterday, and i was watching the tanks they have. full of crabs and fish and lobsters. but they're PACKED. it made me feel bad. what horrible life. now i'm wondering how they kill the fish before cooking it. or if they even do that. i know that when they cook lobsters and crabs, they crack the shell, but i know that some other people cook the lobsters alive. i dont 'know why. but then i remembered that when they serve the fishes, they're all intact, and that the only thing different is that it's guts are out. so im thinking, do they gut the fishes alive?! because i know they dont' chop the heads off, since the server breaks off the head at the table. maybe the break the skull...but it doesn't look like it when they serve it...so i wanted to find that out, but i haven't found an answer yet. so then that made me think that "well, it's okay, because that's the reason for their lives. so that we can live". but then, i thought that it's not like we'll die if we dont' eat a fish that night. it's not a life-and-death situation. it's just excess, and we're just eating it because we have nothing better to do. so now i think i'm going to reassess my eating morals (like a would-be vegetarian), and i'm only going to eat when i have to. to survive. and to stay healthy. but no extras. at least, not when i can help it. it's not going to change the world or anything, but at least i'll feel better about it myself.
there was a sick fish there, who would move fin here and there, but it was lying belly-up. my inner crazy wanted to buy the fish and take it home to look after it. i wanted to buy all the animals there and set them free. but they'd die anyways. it just sucks how they die like that. i heard that goldfishes only have a memory of 15seconds. so those fishes are probably the same somehow in that way. so that while the cook is gutting them, that would be the only memory they'd ever have?? it's sad. and can you imagine being boiled alive, like a lobster?? my mom said that chinese cooks cut the heads off, but i heard a story that once, a long time ago, when someone was sentenced to die by guillotine, he told his friend that he would blink as much as he could, and he got his friend to count the number of times he'd blink after having his head cut off. the story goes that he blinked 12 times. it's like the chickens who run even with heads cut off, and spider legs that twitch after being pulled off the body. you know what i'm talking about, right? you've probably heard the stories before. nerve impulses or something. poor animals. it's like people think it's alright to eat as much as you want, since they're not endangered. but being an endangered animal is the next step after excess of animals.

but it's tough to only take what you need, and not what you want.

it feels great to be home. i'm hanging out with rosco. he's cute. but keeps crapping. i can act like my normal self, and not care about first impressions or any dumb shit like that.

here's the more i promised...

so i was walking around the kitchen and i felt really awkward, since i didn't know what to eat. i was starving, but i figured i could get away with not eating breakfast, since i usually don't on weekdays ( a bad habit i'm trying to get rid of ). i felt awkward because i didn't know the unwritten rules (there they are!) about her house. i.e. the unwritten rules in my house is that you don't eat the dried food because those are reserved for soups and stews. same with the potatoes and eggs unless there's a huge excess. another unwritten rule is that you don't eat all the veggies unless it's dinner, and that you shouldn't eat some of the cereal boxes, just cause they've been around for a couple of years (gross, eh? well it's not like they go bad or anything!!!). you can't play the piano if there's someone playing music on the house stereo. vice versa. stuff like that that's different for every household. so i didn't eat anything. until my aunt came down and said there was oatmeal and some cookies i could eat (WHAAT!? that's IT?!) but it ended up being too late for me to eat anything. i drank a cup of water. yay, very nutritious!! so then i showed up at OSCSS about 15 minutes early. (so much for being late) but there was another girl there waiting outside. her name was Lyndsie, and she was really nice. she's a big star trek fan, but more on that later. i think she's from T.O. so we sat and made small talk. soon another girl came, Andrea. she's from T.O. too, and i found out later she's a cheerleader. when lyndsay and i introduced ourselves, she was like "stephanie?? stephanie sun, right? from trenton??" ( i hadn't told her my last name nore where i was from ) . so i was like...yeah...hm. she said, i'm not a stalker! i was just going towards kingston the other day, and quebec last month, and we passed through trenton, and i knew you were there from the list they gave us. (OSCSS gave us a list of our classmates, and where we were all from). then right after that, a tall-ish guy named Alex came by on a bike, and then once he came, we all decided to go and try to find the studio where everyone was gonna meet. so we went, and once we were there, the door was locked. a few more people came, Abeer....geez, and i don't remember the rest.
so basically, the first day was alright, but i was really tired, so it was pretty exhausting being outgoing and peppy. we met all the teachers, who we have to call by their first names. Grace is the Phys. Mike is the Calc. Gabe(riel) is the Bio. and Alisa is Chem. the sort of vice-principal and acting principal is Amanda. i knew of Amanda and Alisa from when Andrew did the program, so it was one of those moments where they were semi-celebrities to me. i knew their faces and all that, but i had never met them.i remember during the interview, the old calculus teacher knew i was andrew's little sister. she mentioned that, and then alisa was like, "oh yeah! andrew. he would lie down on the lab bench during my class, since there was no room left at the desks" they all laughed. it's a weird feeling (but a bit familiar) to have an impression of the OSCSS already, and having it have to live up to it. then there's their impression of andrew, and me having to live up to it. at least the academic side. (he did Bio and Calc, and I'm doing Bio and Calc. the problem is that he got the highest mark in his Calculus clas...but it's no biggie. (right?! riiight!?!?!!)

anyhoo, they took us on a tour and we did fire safety training. we watched a film on what to do when there's a fire, and they showed a soccer stadium that suddenly went up in flames. there was a police officer whose hair was on fire, and the stamped it out with his hands, then dragged a bloody body across the field. all the while, soccer fans were cheering and jumping in front of the camera.

the best part about here is that everyone wants to be here, so everyone was really enthusiastic about everything. or maybe we were all just happy to have been accepted. ah well, it's like...
teacher: so we just finished up with the Robot Zoo exhibit...
everyone: awwww...that sucks! it looked so cool
teacher: but the next exhibit is going to be Candy: Unwrapped
everyone: waaaa!!! no way!! cool!!
teacher: now we're going into the Human Body part of the science centre...
everyone: cool...i'm gonna be here ALL the time!!

and so on.. it's like everyone's inner geek is coming out, and it's embraced. hahaha we're a group therapy program, in actuality.

so i'm really tired now (in literal and figurative sense..) of constantly acting happy and peppy, and trying to make conversation. it felt fake since i wasn't in the mood. but then if you make the first impression of being tired and an introvert...yeah. after the first day, i couldn't see myself becoming really close friends with all of the class. but it was only the first day, so who cares.

for the 2nd and 3rd day, we went on a camping retreat. it was a friggin' 2 hour long bus ride there, since we got lost on a county road, and it took 30minutes to reach a place we could turn the bus around. so we did typical stuff like name bingo, and games like that to force us to get to know each other. i'm meeting people, and i'm surrounded by constantly trying to meet people, and it made stuff more tiring. and plus, no one's true nature comes out when you guys are making small talk. and all the interesting questions are the ones you can't ask a stranger, cause it's...taboo i guess. i dunno. so anyways, i had basically 4 or 5 questions that i'd ask everyone. honesly, i think i forgot all of their answers. the questions were...

1/ so where are you from?
2/ oac? or grade 12.
3/ what classes are you taking? (this could go into what university program you want to take, or what classes we have in common, which isn't a good thing since the 2nd follow up ques could be a dead end. you can see i've had a lot of practice with these questions)
4/ what were you in your interview? (talking about the informal part. they gave us things to "be" and we had to act like we were them. i was a UFO gas attendant.sometimes this one is interesting.)
5/ so is this what you were expecting? (talking about the program, not me. haha...okay.)

i started running out of questions, so luckily the retreat ended when it did. i think everyone was getting really tired of meeting people all the time. it was a nice intro, and i think i'd do it again, but you don't make friends when you're trying to.

i think andrew had a better time than me so far, because he didn't know what to expect. and i had a huge dream in my mind.

we don't have our labcoats yet, but i think we'll get them by the middle of next week. an astronaut is going to come in sometime and we get to see him talk. (hhahaha yay!).

at the retreat, we did a lot of little projects. plus the science olympics. which is almost the same thing. so we had to make a machine that could run for 10 minutes, then after 10 minutes, it would do something. they gave us some household things to make it with. ours worked...after 11:45 minutes. but ah well. it was a jug that would would leak water, and it would take 10 minutes to leak water, then once the 10 minutes were up, it would tip a scale that would make some matches come in contact with a candle, then the matches would light up and light another match, then another match..and so on. it was great.

we had a huge slingshot, and it took 4 people to work it (5 if you needed someone to hold the lucky green balloon) and we had to hit targets. our group was good at that, but we sucked at the huge skiis. they were skis that 5 people would use at once, and then we had to try to run a race. we sucked, and we fell sooo many times. the best time out of the whole class was 1:19minutes, and our time was 11 minutes. and that was when they stopped timing. ahaaaaa

other stuff like that went on. at night, we had a bonfire, and then we went to look at stars. a lot of the people were making a big deal out of being able to see so many stars, but it was just something you could see from anywhere in trenton. i was like "haha stupid city people". jk,i didn't say that. they'd all beat me with their cell phones and metro passes.

there's some guy who never left toronto in his life. i mean, seriously. i think that being from ttown, i'm probably less sheltered than they are. cause they don't know what it's like in a small town or anything like that. but me and pple from trenton (most of us) know what it's like in a big city. so dar.

so there were big ups! and big downs...it's starting out just like how the UN trip did. crappily. but i hope it ends the same way. or at least turns great sooner...

on the bus ride home, i chanced to sit with Jessica. she's from Toronto. somehow we got from small talk to talking about lots of cool stuff. like how we were both tired of being happy, and this wasn't really what we were expecting, and it was weird to have to try to make friends, and how we both knew people who had went, and our experience didn't seem as good as theirs. it was great, we were being depressing together, and misery really does love company. actually, it wasn't as bad as i'm making it out to be...like i said, there were BIG ups, but when youre expecting something to be a 9 out of 10, but it comes out to be only a 7.5....yeah. you get what i'm saying.
so we kept talking, and we're a lot alike. it's nice. i'll talk more when i describe my whole class.

jessica was actually from the same interview session as me! she was kilt-girl. i didn't know anyone else from my interview made it. there was alex, the one who brought a book with her, and was sort of punky. and allison who i remember loving scooby doo. there was laura, who i was paired up with in the interview for the prank. the prank the old science school students was to give us 2 minutes to come up with an oral presentation about the "eureka factor", how it relates to serendipity, and some disease. one guy got up and gave a perfect presentation, and all the students were like "wow! that's amazing!" . it turned out that he was a science school student already, and that stuff was something they had just studied the last week. some stories i heard of other pranks were that the interviewees had to drink from the fountain in front of OSC, and another was that they did the same presentation thing, except they had a guy in a red labcoat get in a fist fight with a fake interviewee.

that reminds me of what andrew told me about his frosh week. he's having a great time, a lot better of one than he was expecting (hmm..). there's this rivalry between the engineering students and all the arts and science students. the engineers chase them down and water balloon them, and the "artsci" students try to steal their hardhats. (all the engineering students are given a hardhat, obviously). but there are a lot of initiations. like this one where they make all the frosh lie on the ground, and they yell at them to "sizzle like bacon!!" and the frosh have to "sizzle" by going "ssssssssssss" and sort of wiggle. if youre not doing it "Right", then they spray you with water. and then they'd paint themselves purple, and march through eatons centre chanting. it's really cool to see it. there's so many. andrew kept saying before he left that he wouldn't get involved in this sort of things. but it's really cool that he is, i think. there's other stuff...like how they told all the engineering students that it was standard that they had to write an aptitude test on the day before the first day of school. and if their marks determine where they go for the rest of their lives. andrew spent all summer studying for it. and they had 2 "tutorials" the first one, they got the meanest old professor to come in and teach 3rd year engineering stuff. then on the 2nd one, they had them try to do problems that were impossible to do. during the exam (andrew heard that it was a fake, so he left early) they get people to go in and pretend to cry, and freak out, and make weird sounds. he heard that one year, they got two people to come in dressed up as vegetables, and to fight. it sounds fun...but if i ever go into engineering, i'm not going to get my expectations up. andrew's were probably really down, cause mark's frosh week wasn't anything great. and neither was chris'. but both of them went into science, and i hear that since artsci is such a huge faculty, it seems like there's no student life. but o well.

when i think of my class at oscss, i don't really know any of them well enough to really know their personalities well. they pretty much sort of all seem the same to me right now, but hey, it's only been 3 days. but i'll do this anyways...
the toronto pple don't seem to comprehend that i've been to toronto before. all of them think i live really really far away, when i tell 'em how long it takes to get to ttown. but i suppose they're just looking out for me, when they tell me stuff about T.O. that i already know. no biggie.

jo, shan, and fran found the list of names they sent me of the ss students. before i got to meet any of them, they wrote out what they'd be like. and i'm supposed to write and see if any of them were right. i think i'll do this again, once i know everyone better. this is just my first impression of everyone. so here goes...

*i'll put what jo, shan and fran thought in italics*

Bharat: indian; wants to become a scientist. well, yeah i suppose. i don't know what he wants to be, but i bet it's somewhere in the sciences. he looks smart, and i think he might have been an outsider at his old school. but he's focused, and he's nice and polite. not very friendly, but he's not unfriendly either. not very outgoing, but he'll talk if you talk to him. i don't know his ethnicity either, but he is middle eastern. some of us have troubles pronouncing his name, so he lets us call him "B". i worked with him when we had to build an air balloon (THAT was cool. ours was awesome.). i think he's from toronto.

Caitlyn: Bitch, or could turn out to be fake. probably spoiled. no, she's nice. she doesn't talk much, but she laughs all the time at all my jokes and stories. so it's great! i don't know much about her, though.

Heather: loner. no way. she's really nice, and friendly. she's got really long blonde hair, and when she smiles, she looks like a treasure troll. but she's not ugly or anything. she's from out of town (Grimsby??) and went to high school with Josh, and they're sort of roommates at a house together. they're good friends i think, but i dunno about any romantic sort of thing. doesn't really matter, anywho. her dream is to be a writer, and she has 2 novels and a bunch of short stories (all unpublished), but she sent in a proposal to a publisher a few days ago. if she's not a writer, she'll be something in science though. i think biology...

Allison: slutty but nice. not slutty at all...i don't think. she's a lifeguard, and she's on her school swim team. she loves scooby doo. i've talked to her a bunch, but i think she's not acting like how she usually acts, because it doesn't seem natural. i bet she's nice though. she's outgoing, but we don't have too much to talk about. i think she was getting tired of being happy too. from Sarnia, and she's staying with her aunt and uncle, like me! she's a redhead and is tall.

Abeer: indian. wants to be a doctor. she was born in Saudi Arabia, moved to Pakistan when she was young, then moved to Canada 7 years ago. so she's not indian. but she does want to be a doctor! yay! she's heard all the jokes about her name ie: "you don't look like a beer." and "you've got a lot of hair for a beer.". stuff like that. not that i said any to her!!! she's nice. she looks younger than she is. she's friendly, but not the most outgoing person in the world. but i'm sure she's just shy.

Krystan: french. will be popular. he's probably not french, and no one is popular or un-popular (sort of). but he's outgoing and friendly. he went to drama camp last summer. really tall. knows a lot. likes rocks. when we were stargazing, amanda said something about retrograde eclipti...somthing. and he knew a lot about it. i had a ques and he said he's bring something in on monday to explain, cause it was tough to explain without it. haha yeah right. i bet he didnt' know. jk.

this is boring me...but i'll keep going.

Jessica: nice; gonna be your best friend to replace Josie.. meh. i dunno about the best friend thing, i don't know anyone well enough, but if i had to choose someone who was going to be my best friend (from this point), it would probably be her, just from talking to her on the way home from the retreat. replace josie? is josie saying that she's my best friend??? hahahahhahaa jk jo.

Lyndsey: nice and popular. well she's very nice, and really friendly. got tired of being happy too, i bet. she let me borrow a sleeping bag, since i forgot mine. so she's really really nice! she likes Star Trek a lot, and it was funny cause i used to think i liked it a lot, but compared to her, i'm inadequate. haha. she went to a sci-fi convention, and showed me pics. i asked if she dressed up, and she did, for a little bit. but she changed back when she was meeting celebs. so she met a couple. and a klingon came up to her a pertended to strangle her. it was funny to hear about it. when i heard she went to a convention and dressed up, i yelled and pushed her. i've been pretty yell-y and push-y lately. she wasn't offended. she's in a band too, and plays the flute. and she went to bandcamp last summer. (...). but her band's going to germany next week and she can't go. she was interviewed for 2nd semester, but somehow ended up in 1st.

Alexander: hawaiian; gonna be your boyfriend; hottie. josie shan and fran are lame. he's chinese actually, and meh. not a hot not ugly. he plays piano too, and he's in grade 8. he only started 3 years ago thuough, and skipped ahead to grade 5. he has a lot of friends who did all the grades in piano. it's crazy! he's really good at Ultimate Frisbee. we played it, and he's in a league. so he was on my team, and mike the teacher (who also plays a lot) was on the other. so we were balanced. but our team sucked majorly, cause we were so hot, and alex was getting frustrated. it was funny. he wasn't used to being on such a crappy team. he'd give us advice, but we'd just walk around doing nothing. anyways, he's friendly and outgoing. less nice, but not mean. he's one of those people from toronto who think they're being nice in telling me stuff i already know. but he's just looking out for me.

more later...